A few months ago, I was in my bedroom working on the layout for my blog and I had just got off the phone with my dad. It was almost time to go to work at my part-time job at the movie theater on the nice side of town. We spent most of the conversation exchanging stories about the misadventures at our respective jobs. Lately he had been working part-time as a substitute teacher’s assistant. I believed he cherished the bonds he had made with the worn-out-yet-still-hopeful young teachers he referred to as his “daughters” and the unruly, lovable, children he worked with. But he had seen, as I had during my time as a teacher, how draining it is to work with students who can’t do their academic work successfully for lack of the structure and emotional literacy they’re missing from their home lives. A teacher can only be so much to a child, let alone to 35. The rest of the world acknowledges (genuinely) touching stories, like the one of the teacher who styled her hair like her student’s, every once in a while, politely applauding her Miss-Honey-sweetness, and then goes back to essentially ignoring the plight teachers face in the United States’ education system. Even as this thought comes to me and I remember how many of my own heartwarming stories I have of my days in the classroom, I can’t shake the sad twinge that comes from accepting that for me, being a teacher didn’t work out.
Teaching was not conducive to my mental health. In the months before I resigned, I was having anxiety attacks 3-4 times a week. When I made the decision to leave, I had a tiny amount saved that I naively thought would be enough to pay my bills until I found I new job. I thought that would be in a month’s time, maybe 2 if things were bad. That was in October of 2017. After I quit, I enthusiastically sent out anywhere between three and six applications a day, certain that if I had the gumption and drive, I would be back on my feet, working full time and matching my previous salary in a matter of weeks. After over 70 applications, and the only thing that had led to an actual (albeit tiny) paycheck was the part-time, minimum-wage gig at the movie theater. My LinkedIn profile said I’m a tutor, which I technically had also been hired for part-time, but I had yet to fully activate my account, because a part of me felt nervous and insecure at the idea of teaching again, even in a more casual setting. This job is what I kept in my back pocket when acquaintances who came to my line at concessions awkwardly half-smiled at me in a quizzical way wondering what happened. (How did a college graduate like you end up here?) I told them I’m ACTUALLY a tutor and I’m “just here to get out the house.”
I landed a couple of interviews here and there, but essentially nothing ever manifested. There was a tutoring company based in Ohio that hired me to work remotely. However, they still had yet to give me any work to do 4 months later. (I quit.) More than once I would have an interview, and even a follow-up, only then to never hear from the manager ever again. This seems to be the new hiring practice. Aunts and cousins of the older generation assure me each time that the companies that seemed to be toying with me are “too professional” to ignore my follow-up emails and phone calls, but it has been several times that I have been “ghosted” by a manager who feigned interest. It feels very much like what happens after a seemingly good Tinder date, when he tells you he had a great time and kisses you goodnight, then you text him after a couple of days things like
“Hey how’s it going?”
No reply.
Then “Haven’t heard from you in a while.”
No reply.
Then “Is everything okay?” then
“I guess this is your way of saying you’re not interested.”
to the point that you feel silly that it took you so long to realize that you were getting the brush-off. Maybe too many hiring managers spend enough of their free time on dating apps that their poor socializing habits have inched their way into how they handle job applicants. I will be the first to advocate for an end to this ghastly practice.
Since my job hunt post-teaching began, I’ve heard that for many people, it is difficult to become gainfully employed, regardless of the level of education you have completed. The experience I am currently going through of being underemployed has definitely been eye-opening. I was privileged enough to come right out of college and get hired as a teacher two weeks after I finished my last class. At that time I had no idea how difficult it can be to get a job where you make enough to pay all of your bills, let alone maintain an enjoyable lifestyle. According to Manpower Group, 62% of millenials believe that they can find a job that pays as well, if not better, as their current job within three months (1). A year ago, I would have definitely aligned myself with this statistic. As time has gone by and my list of applied jobs continues to grow, I have begun to wonder if it’s something that I have been doing wrong, or at least not enough of. Apparently, the answer is yes.
I am one of the 54% of Americans who have been looking for jobs online, and one of the 45% who have been applying to those jobs online (2). Truth be told, and maybe this is the millennial in me, but it didn’t occur to me that there are other ways to do it anymore. I turn to the internet for almost every source of information and entertainment that I consume. It was intuitive for me to begin my job hunt online. Apparently other people primarily use professional or personal connections during their job hunt, but my list of contacts is limited, since everyone I know professionally is in a field (Education) that I am trying to transition away from. However, I have reached out to a few people that I have distant connections to, including the coordinator from my volunteering gig in high school, an old college professor, and a friend of a friend with strong community ties. I have learned that even if people like this can’t help me in my immediate pursuits, it’s good to stay in touch with them. Opportunities might arise in the future where I might need their support again, or, heck, maybe they could need me one day. Networking is far from second nature for an introvert like me, but people need people, and like the saying goes, “it’s not what you know, but who you know.”
A while ago I met up with an old acquaintance who was also a millennial in between careers, and unlike me, she is exceedingly bubbly and confidently ambitious, in a charmingly extroverted sort of way. She had been spending her free time networking her little heart out. Just on the day that I met her for coffee (a feat of socialization not minor for me), she had appointments with two other people. She would volunteer, collaborate on projects, and build connections with a concerted drive as if she was being paid to do all of this. For those who are not sure how to spend their free unemployed or underemployed time, a note might be taken from her book. I’m certain one of these endeavors will pan out into her next means of employment. While we were hanging out she said something along the lines of, I “just gotta” put myself out there. As tiring and draining as that is for someone with my levels of anxiety and introversion, I do believe there is a way to do it with a degree of balance where I can strengthen my connections without emotionally wearing myself out.
The other area where I could stand to improve in my job-hunting skills lies simply in the level of care and intent I put into the actual applications. I would browse through Indeed and LinkedIn job listings, and apply to anything that seemed remotely interesting and bearable enough to do, that presumably wouldn’t lead to a mental breakdown like my last job. My search was aimless, and in hindsight I admit that at times I was a little bit sloppy. More recently, in my times of self-reflection I’ve gone over cover letters and resumes I’ve sent out to figure out where I’ve gone wrong. I’m embarrassed that I’ve come across more than one careless typo. Apparently 61% of recruiters will reject a resume with typos (3), so it definitely pays to be extremely careful when going over documents that you send in to hiring managers. It is important to make sure the resume stands out too, because “the average recruiter spends a mere 6 seconds reviewing a resume” and the average corporate job opening receives 250 applications (3). This doesn’t mean pull an Elle Woods and hand in a perfume-scented one on pink paper, but it doesn’t hurt to play with templates found on word processors like Microsoft Word, Google Docs, or free websites like resume-now.com. Understanding what type of resume is good for where you are in your career and what type of job or career you’re looking for is important, too. Lastly, I’ve found it is a better use of my time to narrow my search and apply only to the jobs I’m truly interested in, and spend a longer amount of time being careful to do a good job on those applications rather than trying to break a personal record of how many applications I can submit in one day.
Overall, being an underemployed college graduate has been, to say the very least, humbling. I am privileged enough that I have a family who is both willing and able to support me until I get back on my own feet. I appreciate the value of a dollar more now, and am empathetic towards others’ financial struggles. Battling depression and anxiety is a struggle for anyone. However, striving to remain mentally afloat is that much harder when you don’t have the means to indulge in any whim dressed as the “treat yoself” type of self-care or when your identity and confidence has been connected to your sense of purpose and productivity. I have learned that not having a lot of money makes finding other forms of giving that much more precious, too. Once when I was on the train, I was sitting next to man who was on the phone with the homeless shelter in the town he was headed towards. He was asking if he would get in town in time for the evening meal, and if there was a bed available for him for the night. After he got off the phone, he pulled out a plastic baggie of Cheetos hot fries and asked me if I wanted some. I said “no, thank you,” but I was moved by his generosity despite the fact he obviously did not have much. For me, having money feels good, especially when it means I can pay for things for other people and give nice presents in addition to supporting myself. Although I wish I was in the position where I was giving back to my parents rather than them still supporting me, I’m grateful that they love me enough that they still want to help me. Hopefully I find a nice job soon, but I’m grateful for this moment in my life because it has taught me that being good, patient, and gentle with yourself, and remaining giving, sharing, and loving to others, regardless of the job you have or how much money you make, can make you feel that much richer.
Sankofa Virgo 
Leave a comment