I Wonder If You Knew

I remember sitting on your bed in your dorm room-

It was a single, just one of many signs that you were often lucky in circumstance-

Listening to you talk about the guy you had a crush on,  who was white,

But you thought it could work, even though your parents were conservative and African.

I remember you had eyes that were almost yellow,

Like someone took the color of my own

And mixed them with my favorite color-

Marigold.

Your eyes were mine and my favorite color.

I watched your mouth as you talked

And noticed how the denim fabric of your jeans

Clung to your thighs,

Then gave a little in the stretch

When you flexed as you paced the room,

Ebbing and flowing like cotton ocean waves.

I said something supportive,

Trying to be a good friend

Even though I didn’t believe my own words.

Then you paused and looked at my face.

You squinted your brown-marigold eyes,

And seemed to consider me.

I instantly felt naked in my lack of experience,

With how to appeal to a woman,

So I squinted back,

A comical imitation of your seductive scrutiny,

And our eyes remained locked

For seconds that felt like

I was holding a plank in the gym;

You know, those seconds that last longer than mere seconds.

That was the closest we ever got

To a kiss.